


Things Don't Always Go As Intended

by thesinnerwiththedolphintattoo



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, M/M, So much fucking angst come get ya angst, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, somewhat Experimental Style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 17:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12989301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesinnerwiththedolphintattoo/pseuds/thesinnerwiththedolphintattoo
Summary: Post-affair Joseph feels lonelier than ever





	Things Don't Always Go As Intended

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what to make this but uh here's a small piece of Joseph dealing with his emotions that I wrote like 3 months ago in the middle of the night. Unedited, oops.

At first Joseph holds himself together, moves on and distracts himself from any thoughts. After all, it was him who ended it. He keeps himself busy and makes sure to stay smiling because nothing is wrong. Nobody knows but him and Robert so there isn’t a reason for anyone to inquire.

It’s when he pulls the blue sweater out of the laundry and rather than just putting it in the wash he lingers on it, feeling the fabric and raising it to his face, taking in the smells that still cling to it. He’s not surprised to smell cigarettes and cologne, and for a moment it almost comforts him. Without really thinking he tosses it to the side and doesn’t wash it, so he can throw it in a drawer and forget about its existence.

His life hasn’t changed, instead it’s back to normal. No more late night distractions or sneaking off. Early to bed, early to rise— home, kids, church. Though, he doesn’t hold any barbecues or other neighborhood activities, choosing to avoid any possible awkward interactions, or any tempting ones.

But with the return of normalcy he can’t help as the feelings of loneliness catch up to him again. When he speaks with couples and sees in their eyes how happy they are. When he’s out with Mary and they put on the façade of the happily married couple. When he’s home with her and they don’t speak except for cold and empty words. When he watches her leave without saying a word to drown her sorrows elsewhere. When she comes home wasted and colder than ever.

He can feel the tension in the air and it hurts to remember the few good years they had. When she didn’t go out every night or drink all day. When he didn’t have to lie to his kids when they asked if everything was ok. When he didn’t have to see in their eyes that they knew something was wrong. When he didn’t grab a drink for himself after putting them to bed, hoping it would help him fall asleep before his wife got home so he wouldn’t have to see her. It had been so long since they’d slept in the same bed together.

Without distractions he was left with his aching loneliness, the guilt that still wracked his brain, the suffocating feeling of emptiness. Admitting that he wasn’t ok was never one of his strong suits. He sits on the bed that once felt welcoming as tears begin to steam down his face and no matter how hard he tries to blink them away they keep coming.

He feels sick to his stomach as he rummages through his drawer and finds the blue sweater again, crawling into the bed and holding it tightly. He buries his face in it as the sobs come, sobs that leave him shaking and breathless. The reminders all around him weigh him down as he lets himself _feel_ for the first time in weeks. What he had hoped would cure his loneliness or at least distract him from it was now contributing to the feeling even more.

He remembers soft hands and long hair, pale skin and passion long gone, and wonders if she ever actually loved him. He remembers rough hands and scratchy stubble, dark skin and frantic touches. The taste of whiskey and cigarettes, the feeling of being filled, more than just emotionally. He knows why he gave it up but as he lets himself drown in his sadness he wonders if any of it was worth it. He thought he regretted entering the affair but now he regrets leaving it, regrets thinking he could work things out with Mary.


End file.
